


Cold Feet

by Angel_Waters



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 23:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 20,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Waters/pseuds/Angel_Waters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with one little piece of mail...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was sitting on the kitchen table. I’d dropped it there nearly an hour ago, and I was still glaring at it as if it had burned me. I eyed it suspiciously before picking it up again. Nope, it wasn’t a trick of the light. I had been sent a wedding invitation. As if that weren’t bad enough, it wasn’t from some random acquaintance. No, this was much worse. This was the very thing I had been dreading ever since that damned trip to Santa Fe.

Theodore Forrester and Donna Parnell were getting married.

“Anita, what’s wrong?” 

“Huh?” I glanced up to find Micah standing in the doorway.

“What’s the matter?” 

“Nothing.”

“The look on your face makes me think otherwise.”

I frowned at him, but didn’t say anything.

“What’s that?” he asked, motioning to the letter.

“Edward is getting married.”

“That’s nice,” he smiled.

“No, it’s not nice.” 

“Why?”

“It’s a disaster! Edward shouldn’t be getting married, much less to some new-age soccer mom with two little fluff-balls named Peeka and Boo. If it weren’t for the kids, I’d tell him to just walk away.”

“I think it might be good for him, if it makes him happy.” 

“No, it’s not good for him or anyone else. Donna couldn’t survive in our world. Peter might make it, but Becca... I just can’t let him seriously go through with this. Even if he does—” I stopped talking abruptly.

“Even if he does...?”

“He doesn’t. He just can’t! He doesn’t have emotions like normal people. He’s Edward,” I growled out.

Micah just shook his head and left me to fume at the seemingly-innocent piece of paper.

 


	2. Chapter 2

I dialed Edward’s number from memory, still fuming as I listened to the phone ring before his answering machine clicked on.

“We need to talk. Now,” I said in what I hoped was a relatively calm voice and clicked off the phone.

I could feel the knots in my back and neck from being tense for so long. A nice hot bubble bath would do wonders for it, and probably help me clear my head too. I brought the phone with me just in case he called before I got out, setting it next to the Browning on the floor. I added some scented oils and put a CD in the waterproof player we’d recently attached to the wall. My muscles slowly relaxed and I closed my eyes to try focusing on the soothing music, but my mind had been screaming ever since it got over the initial shock and it refused to quit for even a moment. 

“What the hell are you thinking, Edward?” I muttered softly, trying to figure out what this world was coming to and why—

“I’m thinking you’re off your game, Anita.”

My eyes flew open as I reached for the Browning, but it was already in his hand. He smirked in that oh-so-annoying way only he could and watched me try to gather my wits. I stared at him for probably a full minute before I had the sense to close my mouth and just glare. With that little burst of common sense came the reminder that I was completely naked, except for the bubbles of course, and unarmed.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked, turning my head away so he wouldn’t notice my sudden resemblance to a beet. 

“You called, so I came.” 

“Why couldn’t you just pick up a phone like a normal person?” I frowned at him as anger slowly replaced the embarrassment. 

He just raised an eyebrow and kept smirking at me.

“Well you could’ve at least knocked,” I grumbled. 

“I did. You didn’t answer, so I let myself in.”

“And then what, you got bored and decided to snoop around the house?”

“No. I heard the music,” he answered as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.

“You heard it from downstairs? It’s not turned up nearly that loud, Edward.” 

“It’s loud enough for you not to hear the door open and close.”

“My mind was a little preoccupied.”

“I did notice that. Although I must say I’m surprised to find you all alone and naked in the tub, thinking about me.”

I blushed again and opened my mouth to explain what exactly I’d been thinking about, but while I was figuring out how to form the words I noticed how shiny his eyes were and how his shoulders were shaking just a tiny bit. The bastard was teasing me, laughing at me!

“Well, you know, I would’ve done it in the bed, or maybe even on the couch, but I thought the water might help me relax,” I shrugged, not rising to the bait. 

The laughter seeped out of him as he said, “Yes. I know all about your little water fetish.”

I just blinked at him, trying to understand what he meant and why it made him so angry, when it dawned on me. My first time with Jean-Claude was in a tub and my first time with Micah was in a shower, not to mention the many similar situations since then.

He watched as I blushed again before tossing a towel at me and promptly leaving the room. With my Browning still in his hand.

 


	3. Chapter 3

I stared at the door Edward had disappeared through for all of a second before jumping out of the tub. I quickly dried off, smeared a little gel in my hair so it would be manageable later, threw on my robe, and chased after him. I too angry to even bother grabbing a weapon for fear of shooting or stabbing him as soon as I caught up.

“What the hell is this ‘little water fetish’ you think I have and how the hell would you even know about something like that?!” I nearly screamed as I ran down the stairs.

He’d been grinding coffee beans when I entered the room, and proceeded to finish getting the coffee started before so much as glancing in my direction.

“Well?” I asked impatiently once he’d turned around.

“You know, you could have just gotten dressed. The coffee does take a little while to brew.”

“Answer the damn question, Edward,” I growled as I pulled the robe a little tighter around me and held it firmly with both hands. The thin black silk did have a tendency to slip at odd moments, and I so did not want that to happen right now.

“Think about it, Anita.”

“For once in your life would you just talk instead of being such a pain in the ass?” 

“You know I keep tabs on you. How else do you think I always manage to show up and save your ass when you need me to?”

“I thought you stopped doing that after you gave me your number,” I frowned at him.

“Why would I do something like that?”

“I don’t know why you do anything, Edward. That’s part of why you frustrate me so much! I can never figure you out. Why give me a way to call for help if you’re just going to spy on me anyway?”

“In case I missed something. Which apparently I did,” he sighed.

“What do you mean?”

He didn’t answer as he poured his coffee and sat down at the table.

“Edward—”

“Why did you call?” he asked, cutting me off.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Fine, then let’s make a deal. I’ll answer your questions, if you’ll answer mine.” 

“What’s the catch?” I asked suspiciously.

“No catch, just be honest.” 

“Any other rules?” 

“Nope,” he shook his head.

“Who gets to go first?”

“It was my idea, so I do.” 

“I guess that’s fair. Ask away,” I agreed.

 


	4. Chapter 4

We hadn’t decided on a set number of questions, so I guessed we would keep going until one of us ran out or simply refused to answer. It would be tricky, but I hoped dealing with all the vampire politics had taught me enough. Let the games begin!

“Why did you call?” he asked.

“I wanted to know if you were really planning to marry Donna,” I answered as I poured myself a cup of coffee, adding lots of cream and sugar. It was mostly the truth, and I was hoping he might answer without me actually having to use one of my questions.

“Your turn,” he said after I sat down across from him.

Well, it was worth a try... “What did you mean when you said you missed something?”

“I meant exactly what I said. I wasn’t watching as closely as I should have been and I missed something important that happened. Are you a shifter now?”

“No. What exactly did you miss?” I asked.

“How deep you were in monsters. Why do you care if I marry Donna?”

“I’ve told you that already, Edward. You cannot have this family. They’re too innocent! Maybe Peter could survive in our world, but do you really want to make him?” Oops, that wasn’t what I wanted to ask.

“No, I don’t.  Do you have any other objections to this marriage?” 

“Isn’t that enough of a reason?”

“Answer the question, Anita.”

“Yes,” I glared at him. I took my time drinking my coffee and thinking of my next question, not wanting to let another one slip out. “How deep in the monsters do you think I am?”

“Too deep. Name all of your objections, in order.” 

“That hardly qualifies as an answer, and that definitely doesn’t count as a question.”

His eyebrows jerked up for a second but he quickly regained his cool composure. “How many monsters are you sleeping with now?” he asked in an icy tone.

I had to think about it for a moment, so I took a sip of my coffee. He could plainly see that I wasn’t having sex right now. I was busy having a conversation with him. Splitting hairs like this would probably get me in trouble when he figured it out, but oh well... “None,” I answered with the barest hint of a smile.

“You dumped them?” he asked, not bothering to hide his surprise this time.

“It’s not your turn, Edward. What exactly about my situation makes you say I’m too deeply involved with the monsters?”

“Well, I thought you were still sleeping with them. Obviously being that close to them is being too deeply involved. We hunt the monsters, we don’t date them.”

I remembered a time when I had said almost exactly the same thing. It hurt to think about how far I’d fallen since then, but I’d only done what I felt I had to do at the time. I couldn’t let myself regret that.

“Are you still bound to them?” 

“Yeah, I am. Is there any way I can convince you to not marry Donna?” 

“Maybe if you listed your objections, in order,” he smirked at me. 

“That’s not a definitive answer. Maybe doesn’t count,” I glared at him.

He just shrugged and asked, “How would you get out of it if you were in my place?”

“I really should make you give me a better answer than that, but I don’t know, Edward. I really don’t. It honestly might be easier trying to get her to dump you than doing it the other way around. Telling her the truth about who and what you are might be enough to do it, considering how badly she handles violence, but she’s okay with the bounty hunting so maybe it wouldn’t make enough of a difference to her. You could cheat on her and make sure she finds out somehow, or just say there’s someone else. Although you’d probably have to move away to keep her from finding out there’s not. Or maybe you could’ve introduced her to someone else and she could’ve fallen in love with them, but I doubt that would work now that you’ve actually set a date for the wedding.” 

“You’ve really thought about all this before, haven’t you?”

I nodded. 

“Why?”

“We’ve been over this. Now stop asking questions when it’s not your turn!” I frowned at him.

“Alright then, go ahead and ask yours.”

I paused then, trying to remember what I’d been planning to ask, but couldn’t think of it. He just stared at the table while I tried to come up with a decent question, but not like he was really seeing it. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and I was so distracted by just watching him that I nearly jumped when he suddenly sat up a little straighter looked at me.

“What are you thinking, Edward?” I asked. Whatever, it was better than any of the questions I’d been tossing around in my head. 

“I’m thinking there might be a way to end this engagement without anyone getting hurt too badly after all. Would you help me?” 

“Of course!” I answered without thinking.

Then he grinned, and it looked just a touch too evil.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“So what is this brilliant plan of yours?” I asked as I refilled our coffee mugs and moved back to my seat across the table from Edward.

“Actually, this brilliant plan is yours,” he corrected.

“What do you mean?”

He just raised an eyebrow and kept giving me that evil little smile.

I frowned at him, wondering how the hell I would be able to help him with any of the ideas I’d just rambled off.  He couldn’t really be suggesting that we... “You’ve got to be joking!”

“Why? I think it could work,” he shrugged.

“You don’t think... I mean, you can’t really expect me to... be with you?”

“If you’re talking about sex, then no. I don’t think it’ll come to that. But general touching, hugging and whatnot, will definitely need to seem natural.”

“It’s not natural for us, Edward, and I’m not nearly as good an actor as you are.”

“We have long enough before the wedding. I’ll come visit you a few times between now and then so we can work on it.”

“Don’t you know any other women? Surely someone else could pull this off better than I could,” I tried to reason with him.

“No, she wouldn’t believe it if I brought in someone new. It’s got to be you, Anita. She already thinks we’ve been together in the past. Who’s to say that we didn’t realize it was a mistake to end that?”

I sighed, covering my eyes with my hands as if that would somehow make it easier. I knew it wouldn’t, but I just couldn’t look at him, or let him look at me, while I tried to think this through. I didn’t know what my face would give away. I couldn’t risk him seeing... whatever this feeling was.

I heard his chair scrape across the floor, his footsteps bringing him closer to me, and I froze. I think if he’d touched me I would have screamed, but he didn’t. He was just near me, not touching, not doing anything. I peaked out from between my fingers and saw that he was squatting on the floor in front of me with his arms resting on his knees. He watched as I lowered my hands to my lap, then he slowly reached out and put one of his hands over mine. 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered, clinging slightly to the hand he’d given me.

“Do you trust me?” 

“You know I do.” 

“I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, Anita, but I need your help. You were right when you told me that they can’t survive in our world. Help me protect them from it,” he said quietly.

If it had been anyone else, it would have sounded like they were begging. Edward didn’t beg. He just said what needed to be said and left it at that.

And it worked, every time.

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Okay, you win. I’ll do it. How do we start?” I asked warily.

Edward looked at me for a moment, probably trying to decide just how uncomfortable this idea was really making me, and then he stood up and moved behind my chair. I started to turn to face him, but he put his hands on my shoulders to hold me in place. He let out a sigh when he felt me tense up, but didn’t say anything. His fingers began gently massaging my shoulders, slowly moving down my spine, then back up to my neck, and ending buried in my hair. I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning as he worked my muscles loose, but I couldn’t stop some of the little pleasure noises from escaping.

“I’ll come back in a few days and we’ll see if I can’t get you feeling this comfortable again,” he whispered in my ear.

I felt his lips brush my cheek, but none of it registered until I heard the front door close quietly behind him. Maybe he had somewhere else to be, but I sort of thought he just wanted to leave before I came to my senses. I was still sitting at the kitchen table in a sort of dazed shock when Micah came back.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a carefully neutral voice.

I nodded, not even bothering to be upset by his tone. I hated when he acted that way around me, as if he had to be so cautious or else I’d snap. Maybe it was true, maybe not. That wasn’t the point.

“Do you want anything to eat? I was thinking I might order out,” he suggested.

I shrugged and walked up to my room, lying on the bed and cuddling with Sigmud. Either he would order for me or I could fix something later when I felt hungry. I was still a little too stunned from Edward’s actions to feel anything.

And yes, I did say _my_ room. Micah stayed in the quest room most nights now. _Our_ closet and drawers were once again _my_ closet and drawers. He had his own. Sometimes our things would still get mixed up, but we would just return the misplaced item to its rightful owner and go about our business. I know I’d told Ronnie I liked it when I would go to grab a shirt and realize it was one of his, but to be perfectly honest, that got to be downright annoying after a while. I was glad to have some of my own space back.

Nathaniel and Damian now shared a house down the street, within walking distance but far enough away that it was definitely separate from mine. For some reason, neither had wanted to move into the Circus when we all mutually agreed it would be better if we didn’t live together. Sometimes I missed smelling Nathaniel’s vanilla scent as I drifted off to sleep. Occasionally I would go spend the night at their house, usually just to spend time with them, but also because then I could smell him again. It had actually been surprisingly easy to put some distance between us. 

I was still close to all of my men, but it was nothing like it used to be. No more needing to have sex every few hours. No more bickering at each other. No more shielding like crazy. We were all far more comfortable around each other. We were all stronger, but without the strange power spikes. We were all far more ourselves. Life made sense again for all of us. We were all happy.

All except for Micah, that is. 

I didn’t know what was ‘normal’ for him, but he couldn’t seem to accept the changes that had been made. He couldn’t let go of the past. I was still intimate with him sometimes, but far less often than with the others. And it wasn’t like I slept with the others all that often.

Part of me felt bad that this was so hard for him. Part of me wished I could somehow help him through it. Part of me felt that I owed him something more.

Most of me wished he would just get over it.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Micah was supposed to have the weekend off, but during lunch one of the newer werewolves called the coalition with some crisis or another. I was in the kitchen putting away our leftovers when I turned around to find Edward standing in the doorway. I secretly wondered if he had arranged the whole "emergency" thing and was just waiting for Micah to leave before coming in, but of course I kept that to myself.

“You don’t seem surprised to see me.”

“Why would I be? You said you’d come back in a few days, and here you are.”

He eyed me suspiciously, but didn’t say anything.

“Speaking of which, there’s this thing called a doorbell that you might want to try using every now and then. I’m sure mine still works,” I frowned at him as I grabbed the plates off the table and moved to the sink so I could wash them.

“I thought you said you weren’t with the monsters anymore.”

“No, I said I wasn’t sleeping with them right then. I wasn’t, obviously, because I was talking to you at the time. If you ask me, it would be a bit weird to be having a conversation with one person while having sex with another.”

“You knew that wasn’t what I meant by the question.”

“It was what you asked,” I shrugged.

“So you’re still sleeping with them.”

“I can’t just break up with them, Edward. We’re bound to each other for the rest of our lives. I’d undo it if I could, but it’s impossible. So the answer is yes, I still have sex with them sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” he repeated, making it a question.

“It might be ‘just another need’ according to you, but I refuse to have sex with a complete stranger. I do still care about them, I just... I don’t know anymore,” I sighed as I finished putting away the dishes. 

Edward was leaning against the wall when I turned back to look at him, and he was frowning now.

“Why does it matter to you so much, anyway?” I asked, leaning against the counter and subconsciously mirroring his pose.

His face smoothed out immediately, once again becoming the stone-cold mask he usually wore. “It doesn’t.”

I eyed him for a moment before nodding, more to myself that to him. I didn’t know why he cared, or even how I really knew that he did, but I was certain of it.

“I’ve been thinking about our little plan, and how long before the wedding I should plan on being in Santa Fe. Do you think two weeks would be long enough for her to discover us and call it off?” I asked, changing the subject.

“A full month would be better.”

“Taking off from work for that long will make Bert pretty angry, but I think I can pull it off if I work out a new schedule with my co-workers before bringing it up. There aren’t usually that many people trying to book us this time of year.”

We stood there for a few minutes, staring at each other silently. Awkward much? Well, maybe not for Edward. Nothing ever seemed to make him truly uncomfortable. I suddenly wondered if I could change that. We were supposed to be getting more comfortable around each other, right? Hah.

I kept my face neutral as I walked over to him. He kept up his mask until I was almost close enough to brush up against him. Then his eyes seemed to shift. I almost missed the tiny jerk of movement, his eyes widening ever so slightly as he watched me. I fought back a smile as I placed my hands on his shoulders, testing the waters.

“What are you doing, Anita?” he asked, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall to his sides. His voice seemed just a touch rougher around the edges than it had been a moment ago.

I leaned closer, keeping that bit of distance between us, as I stretched up to whisper in his ear. “I like that you care about me, even if you won’t admit it. And I like that I know you care, even though you try to hide it. Does anyone else know you so well, Edward?” 

He shook his head slightly, causing my lips to brush his skin. Whether it was in response to my question or simply denying his emotions, I wasn’t sure. But his breath came just a little bit quicker than it had before.

I don’t know what would have happened if the front door hadn’t swung open right at that moment. What would he have said? What would I have done?

Edward slipped past Micah and drove away almost before I could even register what had interrupted us.

 


	8. Chapter 8

“Anita, you can’t be serious!” Micah exclaimed as soon as I’d finished telling him about my plan to visit Santa Fe in the near future.

I kept silent, waiting for him to explain why he found this idea so ridiculous.

“You are not going to just disappear for a month. What if the _ardeur_ rises? What if your beasts start trying to claw their way out of your body again? What if you start draining Damian? What about Nathaniel?” 

“Micah, you already know the answers to all of these questions. I don’t carry the _ardeur_ anymore. Sure, I can still feed Jean-Claude’s _ardeur_ if he needs me to, but he’s perfectly able to feed it on his own now that I’ve stopped being such a damned hypocrite and actually let him do it. The beasts haven’t been an issue since Richard started going to therapy and made peace with what he is. The wolf has its own home inside his body instead of just a cage. It left me months ago, and without that having a true beast that is able to take form, the other animals pretty much went along with it. I may still have lycanthropy in my blood, but that’s it. Damian became a master almost as soon as the first triumvirate worked itself out so I don’t have to worry about draining him, especially since he’s been blood-oathed to Jean-Claude again, and Nathaniel is more his animal to call than mine. Besides, now that our lives have settled and Nathaniel became more independent, he doesn’t exactly need anyone to take care of him. Why are you really so upset about this?” I asked.

“It feels like we’re losing you, Anita. You don’t react to me like you used to; you barely react to me at all! You never really see any of the leopards anymore, or the wolves for that matter. Hell, you don’t even spend time with the vampires. Once Jean-Claude and Asher started sleeping together, you distanced yourself from them. You’ve distanced yourself from everyone.”

“You know that’s not true, Micah. I do spend time with the pard and the pack. I still sleep with Jean-Claude and Asher, both together and individually, just like I still sleep with you, and Nathaniel, and Damian, and Richard. Just because I don’t have to feed the _ardeur_ a zillion times a day and stopped having sex so often doesn’t mean I stopped altogether!” I frowned at him. 

“That’s true, but it feels like you do it more out of duty than out of love now. It’s like you would feel guilty to just abandon us,” he sighed.

I glanced away, unable to think of a decent response. It was mostly the truth, after all. Once I didn’t have the _ardeur_ riding me all the time, I really didn’t feel as close to them. It wasn’t that I didn’t still love them — I mean, I guess I loved them as much now as I had then — but I was myself again. I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with so many men all at once. I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with the creatures I had once hunted. I didn’t think of them as monsters anymore, but they definitely weren’t just people with fangs or fur either. I was beginning to think that the only reason I was still semi-dating any of them was because we were still bound together.

I looked into Micah’s eyes and said the only thing I could: “I’m sorry.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

“I’m sorry, Micah. I don’t know what more I can give you than that. I tried to be understanding. I tried to give you time to adjust to the way things are now. I tried to keep acting like your Nimir-Ra, even though I didn’t have a leopard of my own anymore. When that didn’t work, I tried to at least be your friend. But you couldn’t accept my friendship,” I said quietly.

“Anita—”

“No. I’ve heard all of your arguments and worries and rationalizations before. Do you know that you’re the only one I kept around without a metaphysical connection? After everything we’ve been through, I felt that you deserved at least that much from me. I’m sorry this has been so hard for you. I really am. And I’m officially done trying to make this work.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, a note of panic in his voice.

“I want you to move out. I’m sure any member of the pard would welcome you into their home with open arms, or Jean-Claude would let you stay at the Circus. It’s up to you. A more pressing matter requires my attention right now,” I answered calmly.

He babbled at me while I grabbed my car keys and cell phone, trying to sweet-talk his way back into my good graces like he had so many times before, but I didn’t hear a word of it. I dialed Edward’s number as I walked to the car, but of course he didn’t answer. I left a message asking which hotel he was in and what named he’d used. Deciding that Ted Forrester was a likely bet, partly because if Donna found out it would fuel her suspicions and partly because it was the only alias I knew, I headed towards town. Once I had some distance from the house I could pull over and start calling around the different hotels if Edward didn’t feel like sharing.

Surprisingly, he did.

I was standing in front of his door within minutes of his call, but once I got there, I wasn’t sure what to say to him. Should I apologize? Pretend it didn’t happen?

_You could always do it again..._

I shook my head, trying to clear away that last thought. It had felt amazing to have that kind of power, even if only for a moment, but trying to do it a second time would be sheer stupidity. I sighed and knocked on the door, bracing myself for whatever waited for me on the other side. 

I certainly wasn’t prepared to come face-to-face, or rather face-to-chest, with a mostly naked Edward. I blinked, tried valiantly to keep my gaze from traveling lower, felt my cheeks burn red, and finally managed to raise my eyes to meet his.

“You got here quicker than I expected.”

“Well, I was already on the road. And you know... um... I’ll come back later,” I stammered.

“Hang on a minute.”

When the door closed, I continued to stare blankly at it while he replaced the towel he’d been wearing with actual clothes. Part of my brain told me to turn and flee, but no. Big heap vampire slayer doesn’t run away! Right? Riiight. 

Edward reopened the door wearing his usual black jeans, paired with a black t-shirt that looked just a little worn and very comfortable. I briefly wondered what it would be like to press myself against him, with only that soft-looking shirt between us. Mentally kicking myself, I strolled past him into the room. His skin was unexpectedly cool where it brushed mine. Had he taken a cold shower? Because of me? The sense of power surged through me again and a smile curled my lips before I could stop it.

I cleared my throat, did my best to regain control of my face before Edward had a chance to see it, and sat in one of the two available chairs.

“For someone who supposedly can’t act, you seem to be doing a fine job of it today. What’s gotten into you?” he asked, pulling the other chair over.

I shrugged, nonchalant and graceful enough to give Jean-Claude a run for his money, not trusting myself to speak while the grin still threatened to break through my facade.

“I’m not buying it, Anita. Explain yourself.”

“You’re the one who said that touching, hugging and whatnot, needed to seem natural. You wanted us to be more comfortable around each other. I was just trying to play along. What’s wrong, Edward? Did I do something that bothered you?” I asked sweetly.

He narrowed his eyes at me, clearly unwilling to admit that I’d unnerved him.

I finally let just the corners of my lips quirk up. This was a dangerous game, but I intended to play it as well as I could.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Edward continued to glower at me as I leaned back and half-closed my eyes, still taunting him with that little knowing grin. He was on edge. I definitely wanted to savor it as long as I could.

“You’re better at this than I thought,” he said after a good ten minutes of absolute silence. 

“You should know better than to underestimate me by now.”

“You should know better than to think I’d underestimate you by now.”

“Being in your life is never boring,” I chuckled. 

“Right back at you. Now tell me...” Edward stood and leaned over my chair, bringing our bodies close but not quite touching — just like I’d done earlier. “Tell me your real objections to my marrying Donna.”

“I’ve already done that.”

“Be honest,” he ordered in a hushed tone.

“I... I told you. They’re too innocent.” 

“There’s more to it than that.”

“What makes you so sure?” I asked, hating the way my voice quavered.

“Even if you won’t admit it, and even though you try to hide it, I know you.”

 _Better than anyone,_ I thought with a sigh.

“You don’t have to tell me yet, Anita, but you will. Soon,” he whispered. Then he moved back into his own chair, mirroring my pose right down to the little knowing grin.

I sat up, fought to regulate my traitorous breath, and somehow managed to meet his cool gaze without blushing. 

“I’m starved. Let’s go grab a bite to eat,” he suggested. As if everything was totally normal. 

“Are you in the mood for anything in particular?”

“There’s a new Japanese place that just opened a few days ago. Go change into something dressy and I’ll pick you up in two hours.”

“Okay,” I answered in a deceptively calm voice. I got up and walked to the door on legs made entirely of jelly, hoping he didn’t notice how my knees were shaking. I glanced over my shoulder when I got to the door, saw that he was watching me with that trademark smirk of his, and left before I could do something really stupid.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Micah wasn’t there when I got back to the house. I said a quick prayer of thanks for that little miracle before going upstairs. Edward wasn’t the only one in need of a cold shower, after all. I’d cooled off enough to actually start shivering before I decided to comb through my closet for something appropriate.

I pulled out everything I had that could be called ‘dressy’ and laid it out on the bed. Anything from Jean-Claude was immediately ruled out and returned to the farthest corner of the closet, so I was left with three choices. The first was a flimsy little excuse for a dress that revealed more than it covered, done in a red so bright it was nearly orange. How had Ronnie convinced me it was a good idea to buy that? Definitely a no, for obvious reasons. The second was more moderately cut and done in a rich forest green, but I’d only gotten it because the color reminded me of Richard. Nope, not that one either. The last was a strapless bronze sheath that flared out slightly before stopping at the knees. It came with a long-sleeved jacket that cut off just below the bust, done in a sheer gold fabric. Perfect!

I pinned my hair up with a set of gold clips, applied a hint of perfume, and went in search of some neutral-toned makeup and shoes to compliment the dress. It wasn’t my usual look, but this was an unusual occasion.

Then again, he was only doing this to get out of marrying Donna. It was just business to him. Why was I acting like we were about to go on a date? The smile vanished from my face. I felt like a fool, but the doorbell rang before I could decide what to do, so I took a moment to calm my nerves and went downstairs.

“You look amazing,” Edward said, offering a large bouquet of exotic flowers. Their fragrance reached out to me even before I took them.

“Thank you,” I murmured as I buried my nose against their soft petals.

He waited by the door while I put them in a vase, but knew better than to take my arm while we walked to his rental. 

“Is that a Lamborghini?” I asked, nearly tripping over my own sidewalk. 

“Yes. I know you’re used to seeing me with a Mazda, but I thought tonight warranted a little something more. Do you like it?”

“I don’t know, Edward. This one isn’t even green,” I teased as I walked ahead to investigate. I couldn’t resist grinning as I climbed in. Whether it was really a date or just to protect his cover, he knew how to make a girl feel special.

The ride was shorter than expected, mostly because he handled the sleek red car how it was meant to be done. The comfortable silence gave me a chance to take in the warm brown suit he wore, perfectly tailored to accentuate his lean muscles, paired with a silvery blue shirt to bring out his eyes.

He sent a smirk my way once we got there that told me he was completely aware of my perusal. I guess he hadn’t been concentrating on his driving as much as I’d thought, but so what? It was all part of the game. No woman in her right mind could resist looking at least a little, especially if she was supposedly his girlfriend. I smiled back innocently enough to make him chuckle as we entered the restaurant.

“May I help you?” a voluptuous redhead asked from behind the counter.

“Forrester, a private table for two. We have a reservation,” Edward answered, keeping his gaze on me.

She led us to our table, trying her best to get Edward’s attention. When he still didn’t bother to even glance at her, she sighed and huffed away. The waitress came a few minutes later to take our orders, and again he ignored every attempt to charm him.

“You’re quite the heartbreaker tonight,” I pointed out once she’d left. 

“Is that so?” 

“Those poor girls are falling all over themselves trying to get you to look their way.”

“And what about you, Anita? Are you falling all over yourself?” he asked, a smug grin curling his lips.

“Of course not.” I waited for his arrogant confidence to fade just a little before continuing with, “I’ve already got you to myself.”

He chuckled again, and my triumphant smile only amused him more.

“You really should laugh more often. I so rarely get to hear it.”

“Ted laughs regularly enough.”

“It’s not the same. You know how much Ted annoys me,” I pointed out.

“But you’re supposed to be dating Ted,” he countered.

I made a face, but had to smile again when he rolled his eyes with such exaggeration. The waitress came to deliver our food then, interrupting our conversation for a few minutes while we ate.

“I just thought of something,” I said between bites. “I should have some kind of endearment for you.”

“What’s wrong with Teddy Bear?”

“It’s too close to something Donna might say. I’d rather not be reminded that I’m cozying up to another woman’s sweetheart.”

“Did you have something else in mind?” he asked. 

“Not exactly,” I answered slowly. 

“I promise I won’t laugh.”

“You know, I’d probably be more inclined to tell you if you would.”

“I’ll take that deal.” 

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely. I’ll laugh every time I hear it, as long as the circumstances allow it.”

“Okay then... Penguin,” I said quietly.

Edward made a choking sound, then burst into the surprised laughter I’d only gotten to hear a handful of times before. I could feel my cheeks flush, but it was worth a little embarrassment to hear that sound again. If he would laugh like that every time I used the endearment, I might just have to make a habit of it.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Edward picked up on my oh-so-subtle hints about wanting to go for a drive after dinner, and actually agreed to the idea without making me beg — which was good because I might have done just that if he’d refused. I told myself it was simply because I liked riding around in the Lamborghini, but that was only a small part of it. I’d never seen Edward act so carefree before. I’d been around ‘Ted’ often enough to know that he could appear that way, but tonight wasn’t tainted by his alter ego’s annoying tendencies.

“How have I never seen this side of you before?” I wondered, not realizing I’d spoken aloud until he raised an eyebrow.

“What side would that be?”

“The lighthearted teasing. The easy smiles. It’s... well, it’s not something I’d ever have associated with you before.”

“I’ve seen a different side of you now, too.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Had I done something tonight? Or did he mean earlier in the kitchen? Just thinking about it made me want to squirm in my seat.

“What’s wrong, Anita? Something bothering you?” he asked with mock sweetness.

“Very funny,” I muttered, narrowing my eyes at him.

“I thought so,” he smirked. 

I rolled my eyes, barely resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at him. “How long are you going to be in town?” I asked instead.

“My flight leaves in a little under two hours.” 

“You just flew in for the day?” 

“I had a job down in Charleston and figured I should swing by,” he shrugged. 

“You do realize that’s three hours away. Planning to take a later flight?”

“I’m flying out of Chesterfield. It only takes about thirty minutes to get there. Are you ready to call it a night?”

“It is about time for me to get ready for work, so I guess we should.”

“I’ll be back soon with another hot-rod for you to play with. Don’t worry,” he grinned. 

I gasped and turned to stare at him with wide, innocent eyes. I barely managed to keep up the act, knowing perfectly well he meant the car. It was so fun to mess with him for a change, but when he winked at me with such a rakish snicker, I couldn’t contain the little giggle that bubbled out.

“I don’t think the furball over there would appreciate me walking you to the door. I could help you get rid of him for tonight though, if you wanted,” Edward offered, indicating where Micah was sitting on my front porch.

“Thanks, but I can handle him.” 

“I’m sure you can.” 

“I’ll see you sometime next week, I suppose?”

“Have I really become so predictable?” he asked with feigned chagrin.

“Not even remotely. Goodnight, penguin.”

Edward threw his head back and laughed as he drove away, leaving me with a huge smile on my face even as I went to deal with a very annoying cat.

“It looks like you’re in a better mood,” Micah observed as I came nearer to the porch.

“Why are you sitting out here?” I asked, keeping my tone pleasant.

“Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yes, I did, as a matter of fact.”

“Are you going to see him again?” 

I bit back a sigh and gave up on the idea of having a civil conversation. “I have to get ready for work. Do you need something, or were you just hanging around to interrogate me about something that’s none of your business?”

“Why are you doing this?” 

“I don’t have time to play twenty questions with you. I’m going to change clothes now and then I’m going to raise a few zombies. Get your things together and find someone you can stay with until you move into your own place. I want you out of my house by the time I come back.”

“He’s too human for you, Anita. You’ll regret it,” he called after me.

I didn’t bother responding, but those words stayed with me for the rest of the night. Would I regret my decision to help Edward with this? After seeing how incredibly warm he could be, would I be able to stand his inevitable retreat to the cold? 

 _It doesn’t matter,_ I told myself. _It’s not like this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. You’ll get over it._

I tried to believe that, but the little voice in the back of my head kept calling me a liar.

 


	13. Chapter 13

The next week passed quietly. Micah moved out, staying with Nathaniel and Damian until he could find his own apartment to rent. I was surprised he didn’t put up more of a fight, but I certainly wasn’t about to bring it up. I focused on work to pass the time, but Ronnie managed to talk me into helping her shop for a new little black dress. Of course, she wouldn’t let us leave without looking at a few choice pieces for me as well.

“Ronnie, I feel ridiculous. You know I’ll never wear this,” I complained.

“You look so good, though!”

We had the same short conversation at least fifteen times before finally settling on an outfit that Ronnie thought was ‘sexy’ enough without making me feel completely exposed. The teal blue skirt was a little shorter than I would normally wear, hitting me just a touch above mid-thigh, and the matching turquoise shirt revealed quite a bit more cleavage than I would’ve liked, but I found a wide-holed mesh dress in a creamy color that fit over it nicely.

“I don’t know which one of the guys you’re thinking about wearing this little number for, but they’re a goner the second they see you,” Ronnie proclaimed.

I laughed it off, but her comment left me feeling a bit hollow inside. Truth be told, I was thinking about Edward. I hadn’t heard a peep from him since his last visit. Once this little charade was over, it would probably be months before I saw him again. Our arrangement had never bothered me before that damned trip to Santa Fe.

“Okay, that’s it. Something is going on with you. Fill me in,” Ronnie ordered.

“I really think I should keep this one to myself for a little while.”

“Are you in trouble?”

“You know I’m always in trouble, but it’s not the kind you’re thinking of this time. I’m just helping a friend out of a difficult situation. It’s not life-or-death danger,” I tried to explain. “Maybe when the dust settles I can tell you all about it.”

“I guess that’ll have to do for now.”

“Want to grab some lunch?” I offered, not wanting to part ways on a sour note.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. All this shopping has really worked up my appetite,” she agreed.

We dropped our bags off in the car and went to a little diner nearby. It had inexpensive and unfailingly delicious food, plus some of the best coffee in town. We’d finished our meals and were indulging ourselves with a bit of desert in addition to the java when my cell buzzed.

My heart skipped a beat when I recognized the number: Edward. I forced my voice to be calm as I answered, though judging from Ronnie’s suspicious glance it would seem I wasn’t entirely successful.

“I’d like to take you dancing. Can you be free tomorrow night?” he asked. Typical Edward, straight to the point. Not that I minded, of course.

“I might be able to pull that off. What time?” 

“Let’s say around ten o’clock.” 

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

The phone went dead in my ear and I shook my head slightly, trying my hardest to keep from grinning.

“I’m not even going to bother asking,” Ronnie muttered. “You’ll tell me later.”

I pantomimed locking my lips and throwing away the imaginary key, which earned me a swift kick under the table before we both started laughing. The two of us might not always agree about the big things in life, but there’s nothing like a little ‘girl time’ to help deal with the rest.

 


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up the next morning with only one thought in mind. Why the hell did I agree to go dancing? I don’t dance. I don’t like to do it, and I wasn’t any good the few times I tried, so why the hell did I say yes? Maybe I could just call and cancel. Surely that would be less embarrassing than letting Edward experience the nightmare that is me dancing. Then again, it would be interesting to see _him_ dancing...

I fought with myself most of the day, but as the afternoon turned into evening I cursed silently and called Larry to see if we could swap a few of our appointments around. I only had a few, but I really didn’t want to meet Edward with blood crusted under my nails.

 _God, when did I turn into such a girl?_ I thought with disgust.

Instead of taking some of his raisings, Larry’s price was asking me to take care of all the paperwork for both of us the next week. I hated paperwork and he knew it. Why was I torturing myself? I’d met the boys right after work plenty of times, and surely Edward wouldn’t care about a little blood. It comes with the territory, after all.

“Okay, you’ve got yourself a deal. Thanks,” I found myself saying.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

I was not having a good night. I tripped over my own two feet more times that I could count while trying to get dressed, I managed to stab myself in the eye while putting on mascara, and the purse I’d planned on using had gone missing. My only solace was that Edward might also be running late.

He was right on time, of course.

I abandoned my search, cursing loudly enough to make myself cringe and pray he hadn’t heard as I hurried downstairs to let him in. As soon as I opened the door, a very girlish giggle threatened to escape. I flashed back to the freak party I’d gone to with Phillip, when Edward had surprised me by showing up in a very similar outfit. I’d nearly fallen flat on my face when one of the other women there had described “Teddy” as scrumptious, but that was exactly the word that came to my mind now. I barely resisted the urge to lick my lips. 

“You like?” Edward teased, doing a slow spin so I could get the full effect. 

“You know you look good. Just give me a minute to find a purse and we can head out.” 

He motioned for me to go do whatever needed to be done, and I left him waiting in the living room. Lo and behold, the purse I’d been searching for was sitting on top of my dresser — right where I’d set it out the night before so I wouldn’t have to worry about finding it today. I made sure everything I might need was inside and checked my reflection in the mirror before going downstairs again.

Edward was standing by one of the windows near the front door, peering outside. He didn’t seem to notice my approach until I was almost close enough to peer over his shoulder.

I raised an eyebrow and glanced towards the window. I hadn’t noticed anything out of place earlier. 

“Ready to go?” he asked with one of his trademark smirks in place.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I know that tone, Anita. If you really don’t want to do this, we can change plans. I won’t force you.”

“You really do want to take me dancing though, don’t you?” 

The question made him pause, and I could practically see the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out the consequences of admitting it. He finally met my gaze and nodded once. 

“Then I want you to take me dancing.”

“You’ll do something you hate, just because I’d like it?” he asked, barely masking the shock and curiosity he obviously felt.

“Of course,” I answered with a smile. “You’re my penguin.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

Edward watched me closely as we left the house, and I knew he’d rented another hot-rod even before I saw the gorgeous blue Ferrari parked in my driveway. I’ve never been much of a car fanatic, but I could definitely get used to riding around in such luxury.

“Where are we headed?” I asked, knowing he wouldn’t want to go anywhere affiliated with 'the monsters' in my life. 

“I know a place.”

“Alright, mystery man, keep  your secrets. I'll find out soon enough.”

He smirked at that and revved up the engine before taking off down the street. I closed my eyes and settled back into the warm leather seat, trying not to think about what would happen once we reached our destination. I didn't think Edward would let me get away with just tapping my foot or bobbing my head in time to the music. I'd agreed to dancing, and that's exactly what I'd have to do.

“Anita, try to relax. I promise you'll have fun,” Edward said as he pulled up in front of a club I'd never heard of before.

“I'm sure I will,” I answered, but the smile I gave was barely more than a grimace.

Edward shook his head slightly as he got out of the car and tossed the keys to the valet. He led the way to the front of the line waiting outside, said a few words to the bouncer — who apparently knew “Teddy” — and then took my hand as we entered. He gently squeezed my hand in time to the booming music as we made our way through the crowd. His hands found my waist once we were on the dance floor, turning me towards him. 

I raised an eyebrow, ignoring the sudden fluttering sensation in my stomach when he leaned in.

“Just listen. Find the beat,” he instructed. 

I closed my eyes to focus on the sound, but they snapped open again almost immediately when his hands slid down to my hips. His gaze was steady on mine as he tightened his grip and pulled me closer. I linked my fingers at the nape of his neck to help steady myself and let him guide me in the dance. Despite the crush of other bodies around us, it was surprisingly intimate.

“Would it kill the mood if I said 'I told you so'?” Edward asked after a while, leaning forward enough that his lips nearly brushed my ear.

I laughed and playfully smacked the back of his head before saying, “I think that depends on what mood you're going for.”

He answered by dragging me against him. I gave an involuntary jerk of surprise, but he somehow managed to keep the rhythm of our hips synced as they pressed together.

“Well, there's no mistaking _that_ for a roll of quarters, but I thought you said—”

“If we'd actually been in a serious relationship, it wouldn't be anything you hadn't come into contact with before. We're supposed to be lovers now, Anita. Consider this part of the 'whatnot' we need to be comfortable with,” he explained, his mouth still so very close to my ear.

“Just how comfortable do you think we need to get?”

“That depends on you. I meant what I said about not pushing you into anything. Just let me know where you draw the line.”

“I suppose... if we're together like that, I mean... kissing would have to be a natural part of it,” I responded after a few minutes of silent contemplation.

His fingers flexed briefly on my hips before one arm slid around the small of my back, the other hand gliding up my spine. There was a brief hesitation — as if to make sure he'd interpreted my statement correctly — before I felt the ghost of his lips against my earlobe. When I didn't object to that, his mouth moved to the sensitive spot just behind my ear. Next was a trail of light kisses down to my shoulder as my fingernails gently scraped back of his neck, clearly not in protest. He moved back up to my ear and across my cheek.

Then his lips found mine. 

The kiss was gentle, far softer than I would've imagined the cold-hearted assassin to be capable of, and a stark contrast to the music that I was dimly aware of still pounding in the background. When he pulled back, I could feel him watching me. It took a moment longer for me to open my eyes and meet his searching gaze. I realized he was waiting for me to make the next move and threaded my fingers into his hair, urging him to close the distance again. I tilted my head a bit more and my lips parted ever so slightly against his. He deepened the kiss, nipping at my bottom lip and then soothing the spot with a quick swipe of tongue. He must have liked the way my fingers curled in reaction, because he repeated the action before pulling away again.

“You stopped dancing,” he murmured with his mouth still close enough to brush mine.

“Gee, I must have been distracted by something. I wonder what it could've been?” I teased, still embarrassingly breathless.

He flashed me his trademark smirk and lead the way back outside. We were quiet on the way back to my house. I was busy trying to decide how ashamed I should feel for kissing another woman's sweetie, or if I felt awkward about it at all, and he seemed to be just as lost in thought as I was. By the time he pulled into my driveway I'd decided it didn't matter. If this plan was going to work, I was going to have to be okay with doing whatever it took.

“I have to say, you surprised me tonight, Anita.” 

“Oh? And here I was thinking it was all part of your master plan.”

“Of course it is. I just didn't expect you to go along with it so easily. You've been unusually quiet since, though. I won't hold it against you if you change your mind about doing this.”

“I knew what I was signing up for, Edward. I'm going to see this through to the end. You know I'll do everything I can to keep those kids safe.” 

“I don't want you to have any regrets when we're done,” he admitted.

“I can't promise we won't do something that weirds me out — be it just a little or way too much — but we haven't yet. I'll try to let you know before we cross that line. I definitely will, if we do.” 

“Alright. I'll be back in another week or so and we'll do dinner.”

It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. His fingers brushed over my arm, tickling through the mesh sleeve, as he leaned over to kiss my cheek and whisper “goodnight” in my ear. I barely suppressed a shiver before wishing him goodnight in return and getting out of the car, making my way to the front door on shaky legs. I looked back once I'd opened the door and chuckled when he revved the engine before he took off down the street.

 


	16. Chapter 16

“ _Ma petite_ , I do not like this. One month by yourself in Santa Fe? I have begun making the necessary arrangements, but please reconsider. It does not have to be a vampire.”

I'd known this was coming, but I couldn't help sighing just a little as Jean-Claude started lecturing me — again — about  not wanting to take anyone with me when I went to help Edward. I hadn't explained exactly how I was helping, so I couldn't really blame them all for worrying, but it was still annoying.

“Listen, I know you're just trying to keep me safe, but this is nothing I can't  handle. If anything does happen, Edward is all the back-up I need in a fight. There's a reason he's known as Death,” I said as patiently as I could. 

“Yes, I am well aware of his reputation. I was merely trying to remind you that there are other problems which could arise during that time. Can you not think of any situation in which you might wish for one of our people to be near?” he asked with an elegantly arched eyebrow.

“I've already considered the _ardeur_ , if that's what you're hinting about. I don't see any problem there. I've explained it to Edward, so he won't question if I suddenly need to go to a strip club.” 

“And if it requires something more substantial than that? Do you think he'd let you feed from him? Do you truly believe you would be alright feeding from him?”

“Yes,” I answered without missing a beat. _I'm okay with the thought of sex with Edward? When the hell did that happen?_ There was no time to worry about it, though. I had to either convince Jean-Claude that I didn't need to take anyone with me or explain what was really going on, and I so did not like the sound of option two.

“Very well. I shall have to trust your judgment on this. I only hope you are correct.”

“Thank you. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about while I'm here?” I asked, regretting it before the sentence finished leaving my mouth. 

“Actually, yes, there is. Whatever happened between you and Micah seems to have upset him a great deal. I understand you might have said something in the heat of an argument and be hesitant to apologize, that is simply your nature. However, I think it would be best if you at least spoke to him about it. He deserves your understanding, at the very least.”

“I have tried to be understanding — for a very long time, in fact. I don't feel the same way about him as I used to, and he won't accept anything less from me. There is nothing left for us to say to each other.”

“I have tried not to interfere, but he loves you as much as any of us do.”

“Whatever he feels for me, it's not love. Lust, yes. Obsession, maybe. Love, definitely not. He can claim otherwise all he wants,” I said with a shake of my head. _And if he really 'loves' me just as much as the rest of you, I don't know why I bother with any of you_ , I added silently after I'd walked out and closed the door behind me.

 


	17. Chapter 17

The days passed quietly. Richard, Damian, and Asher joined in the 'discussion' about whether or not I needed to take someone with me to Santa Fe, and I told them the same thing I'd told Jean-Claude. Only Nathaniel seemed to think I could take care of myself. I was pretty sure he just didn't want to get involved. I still hadn't talked to Micah since he'd moved out, despite the other men in my life urging me to give him another chance. I desperately wished I could blow off some steam with Ronnie, but she was in Tennessee working on a case. So when Edward finally called to let me know he was going to be in town soon, it was the best thing I'd heard all week. That is, until he hinted that I'd probably want to wear something like an evening gown...

With Ronnie temporarily out of the picture, there was only one person I could think of to ask for help: Catherine. It'd been a while since we'd found time to see each other, but there was no time like the present to fix that. Plus, I knew she'd love the excuse to shop. I called her as soon as I got off the phone with Edward and scheduled some girl-time.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“So, who's the guy?” Catherine asked as we picked through racks of dresses.

“What do you mean?”

“Don't play dumb with me, Anita. You never willingly go anywhere with this type of dress-code, so you must be going with someone special. If you were going somewhere with any of the men I know about, they'd already have something picked out for you. So, this must be someone new.”

“Not exactly. It's a long story,” I answered with a sigh.

She nodded sympathetically and let the subject drop, holding up a dress for me to approve or veto. It was actually the first one I didn't immediately dismiss, and I was pleasantly surprised when I tried it on. The design was simple — and definitely more modest that anything Ronnie would have picked out — with one long, snug-fitting sleeve that covered the worst of my scars; the other arm and shoulder were left completely bare. The floor-length silk charmeuse hugged my body, with a slit almost to mid-thigh so I could move freely with the dress floating softly around my legs. It also meant I could wear my Firestar in my thigh holster. As I studied myself in the mirror, I was reminded of Ted's house in Santa Fe: black and white with the deep, dark red accentuating it. The price made me cringe, but it was nothing I couldn't afford.

“Should we look for shoes, too? I think I saw some that would match,” Catherine offered.

I nodded and followed her to that section of the store, trusting her sense of fashion more than my own. 

The pair she picked up were made of the same shimmering silk as the dress. The heels were low enough that I didn't feel like I was about to topple over, but high enough to be noticeable and keep the dress from touching the floor. There was a short debate about jewelry, ending with the decision that the dress would look best without any additions. 

“You're a lifesaver. I don't know what I would do without you and Ronnie to help me find clothes,” I grinned at her after checking out.

“Me neither,” she laughed, “but I really do have to get back to work. Taking a long lunch is one thing, but I can't play hookie all afternoon.”

“Of course. Thanks again for taking the time to do this.”

“My pleasure.”

We shared a quick hug and then went our separate ways. If I hurried home, I could probably squeeze in a quick nap before I had to leave for my first zombie raising of the night.

 


	18. Chapter 18

When Friday rolled around, I had Gregory come over to help me style my hair. I would've asked Stephen too, but I was a little worried about how quickly word might spread to Richard and the other men in my life. I wasn't worried about what they would think, but if I could help Edward without them knowing what was really going on it'd be fine with me. 

“So, what look are you going for?” Gregory asked once he had me sitting in front of the mirror.

“I don't even know where we're going yet. Nothing too over the top, I think.”

He worked my hair up into a twisting, curling thing that looked deceptively simple with a little left free to frame my face on the right to counterbalance the sleeve of the dress on the other side. He stepped back so I could get a good look at myself in the mirror.

“Very nice,” I grinned up at him.

“Do you want me to do your makeup before I go?”

“I'd planned to do it myself, but I could probably use the help.”

“Let's see what he have here,” he muttered as he began rummaging through my small makeup bag. 

I closed my eyes and let him work his magic.

“There we go. All done. So, why all the secrecy?” he asked, neatly packing away the cosmetics. 

“I'm just helping out a friend, but it's complicted and awkward and I don't know how to explain it in a way anyone else would understand.”

“You could just tell them that.”

“In what world would they ever just leave it at that?” 

“They know you, Anita. If a friend is in trouble you do everything you can to help, no matter how hard or dangerous it is. Secrets always find a way of coming back to you, and it's always worse than if you'd just put it all out there in the first place.”

“I can't tell them yet or this won't work. Just leave it alone for now, okay?”

“I still think this is going to come back to bite you.”

“I know you're probably right. I need to keep this under wraps a little longer though. It'll be over soon.”

“Well, whatever this plan of yours is, good luck with it.” 

“Thank you. Now scram before mystery man shows up,” I said, giving him a playful shove towards the door.

He laughed and gave my hand a quick squeeze before heading outside.

I tried to shake off the hollow feeling his warning had left me with, but a rhyme I'd heard as a little girl kept whispering through my head. _“Secret secrets are no fun, secret secrets hurt someone.”_


	19. Chapter 19

There was a knock on the door within minutes of Gregory's departure and I wondered if Edward had been sitting outside waiting for the wereleopard to leave before coming up to the house. I checked that my Firestar was loaded with the safety on and the thigh-holster was completely hidden, then grabbed my purse and went down to greet him. My first thought when I opened the door was, “Wow.” The second was that Edward in a suit was nothing compared to Edward in a tuxedo. 

“Hello to you, too,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

I realized I must have spoken aloud and my face burned the same color as my dress, or at least that's what it felt like. I noticed he kept his hands behind his back and quickly changed the topic by asking, “What are you hiding back there?” 

He held out a small box containing a corsage. The focus was a large yellow-orange calla lily, surrounded by dark red hydrangeas and white baby's breath, with a black ribbon wrapped around the stems to hold everything together. His boutonnière was similar, with a smaller lily and a single sprig of baby's breath.

“You always seem to know just how to match me.”

“Obviously they're a set,” he smirked and ignored the hint of suspicion in my voice, then shrugged and added, “The color is called 'sunrise'. It seemed fitting.”

I knew he wouldn't give away his secrets, and I was fairly certain I didn't want to know just how often he spied on me — or find out whatever his other sources of information could possibly be — so I let the subject drop. He tied the flowers to my bare right wrist, then linked his fingers with my other hand and gently pulled me out onto the porch.

“Now that is definitely something Ted would rent,” I laughed when I saw the big, black Hummer Limousine idling on the street in front of my house.

“Of course it is. This is who you're with, darlin'. Maybe I should remind you of it more often? But for now, let's get a move on it—”

“God help you if the next words out of your mouth are anything resembling the phrase 'little lady'. I'm not afraid to shoot you in public,” I threatened quietly as we climbed in.

He gave me one of Ted's good ol' boy grins, but the eyes were pure Edward. Somehow, that made his alter ego a little more tolerable. He settled himself on the seat next to me, buckled himself in before I could tell him to, and then draped his arm around me. His hand rested on my bare shoulder with his fingers gently stroking my upper arm. I only hesitated for a second before leaning against him and putting my hand on his knee. His other hand joined mine, twining our fingers together again as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

I'd heard of dancing with Death, and done it myself both literally and figuratively speaking, but who would have ever guessed that snuggling with Death could make your heart race just as easily? A wry smile tugged at my lips and I chuckled silently at the thought. The movement of my laughter caused Edward to glance down at me and quirk an eyebrow, the ghost of his former grin still clinging to the corners of his mouth.

 _His very kissable mouth,_ my mind supplied. I shook my head slightly and turned my attention to the outside world. I noticed we were entering the Grand Center arts district, and had a sudden sinking sensation. Jean-Claude had been talking about some charity event in this area of town for weeks. I'd told him no every time. Going to the opening of one of his clubs, or even the occasional opera, I could deal with — but I had to draw the line somewhere, and some random art show was definitely on the other side of that line. 

“Something wrong?” Edward asked when my fingers involuntarily tightened around his.

“Where are we going tonight?” 

“There's a new art exhibit opening tonight so Grand Center, Inc. is hosting a benefit to raise money for renovating the St. Louis art district. Is that a problem?” 

“Jean-Claude wanted me to go to this thing with him.”

“Did you cancel your plans with him so you could see me tonight?” Edward sounded just a little too pleased with the idea. 

“No. I told him that I had absolutely no interest in spending my evening surrounded by a bunch of snooty critics or starving artists.”

“What are the odds of him coming without you?”

“He'll probably just bring Asher instead,” I grumbled.

“They have a pretty exclusive guest list for tonight. He might have decided not to buy tickets when you said no. I can check to see if he's listed,” Edward offered as the limo was parked. 

“Good idea. I'll call Jason and ask if he knows anything about it, too.”

He nodded and disappeared into the gathering crowd while I pulled out my cell. A few discreet phone calls later, I was sufficiently reassured that the vampires in question would not be in attendance. Edward returned with the same conclusion. I sighed in relief and hooked my arm through his. It was only to avoid being separated, or so I told myself. I thought I caught a flash of surprise on his face, but it was hidden too quickly to be sure. 

Inside the art gallery was breathtakingly gorgeous. Hand-blown glass sculptures sat on pedestals, glittering under their individual spotlights. Statues made out of metal, stone, and everything in between were arranged gracefully throughout the room. Paintings of every sort lined the walls; impressionist, expressionist, photorealist, abstract. I could hear an orchestra playing softly as we made our way towards the dining area claimed by the caterers. The food was surprisingly delicious, and even the dishes and utensils were hand-made pieces of art.

There was a short platform with a podium set up where some of the artists gave speeches about their inspiration or what their art meant to them. I listened to a few of them with half an ear in case they said anything interesting, but most of my attention was focused on the art itself. After the last one finished,  the orchestra resumed their playing and a few couples decided there was enough room to dance between the platform and the first row of tables.

“Care to dance?” Edward asked, following the direction of my gaze.

“You know I can't.”

“Nonsense. You danced perfectly well in the club.”

“That was different,” I protested. 

“How so?”

“Well, it was darker. And the music was louder. And it actually had a beat I could follow. And everyone else was dancing too, so there wasn't an audience.”

“Excuses, excuses. Shame on you, Anita.”

“They most certainly are not excuses. They’re perfectly valid reasons,” I grumbled.

He stood up and took my hand, leading me away from the table despite my half-hearted protests. He showed me how to place my hands and the next thing I knew we were gliding around the impromptu dance floor in almost perfect unison with the other couples.

“Why is it that you can get me to waltz perfectly, when Jean-Claude has been trying to teach me the simplest dances for years without any improvement?”

“It's about trust. You trust me not to let you fall, and I trust you to follow my lead. Even when you aren't resisting the other men in your life, they expect you to start at any moment; it disrupts the necessary flow of movement.” 

“That actually kind of makes sense.”

“Of course it does. It's the truth,” he answered with a smirk.

“Don't be a smart-ass. It ruins the mood,” I scolded him. It probably would have been more effective if I hadn't been fighting to keep myself from grinning.

“I think that depends on what mood you're going for,” he retorted. 

I blushed at the memory of what had happened soon after I'd said those same words to him at the club, and his snickering only made it worse. It was so out of character, and yet it seemed to happen every time I was around him lately. Something must seriously be wrong with me.

“Ready to face the snooty critics and starving artists while we browse?” he asked as the song ended.

“Well, it's either that or keep dancing.”

“It's up to you. I could definitely keep this up all night.”

“I bet you could, but I'd rather not feel like the center of attention any more than I have to. At least out there everyone is focused on the art,” I said as I linked my arm through his again.

“Not everyone,” he whispered, letting his lips graze my cheek, and I silently hoped he couldn't feel the shiver that raced up my spine.

We moved with the general flow of the crowd, pausing every now and then to get a closer look or comment on some interesting detail. The tour was almost over when one of the paintings seemed to catch Edward's full attention.

“Anita, what does that look like to you?”

I stopped to consider it for a moment. At first glance it was no more than some random dots and lines, mostly black and white with a few splashes of yellow and orange. I tilted my head to the side, trying to figure out what he was seeing, when it clicked. If that bit of orange was a beak, and those two spots of yellow were feet, then it almost looked like...

“You see it, too?” he asked with a grin.

I nodded, barely suppressing a peal of delighted laughter. I left Edward soon after, claiming to need the ladies room, and secretly made my purchase. If for some reason our plan failed, it would be the perfect wedding gift for Ted and Donna — I knew Edward would get a kick out of it, at least — and if our plan succeeded, it would look great in my house. Better yet, I could give it to Edward as a souvenir of our triumph. Maybe I'd attach a note: “A penguin for my Penguin.”

 


	20. Chapter 20

Edward came to see me one last time before my trip to Santa Fe, surprising me with a picnic basket that looked new and a blanket just old enough to be incredibly soft. It should have been too cold to sit around outside without doing anything this time of year, but there was a small heat wave passing over St. Louis so it was actually almost pleasant if you had a light jacket and long sleeves.

“I wouldn't have pegged you for the picnic type,” I mused as we enjoyed the simple meal.

“And waltzing in an art museum seemed in character?”

“Well, not when you put it that way, but you do like to push my buttons and that was a pretty good way to do it. I don't see the challenge here.” 

“It doesn't always have to be about that. Maybe I just thought you could use a little more sunshine in your life,” he said in a serious tone.

“You have a point there. I can't remember the last time I did something like this,” I sighed and stretched out on the blanket to bask in the heat of the midday sun. 

His knuckles brushed lightly over my cheek and my breath caught as I waited to see what he would do next. Was he going to kiss me? No, I was probably the only one thinking about that. There was a quiet rustling noise and I cracked one eye open to see him lying down with his hands behind his head. I rolled onto my side to face him and propped myself up on an elbow.

“What did you tell Donna about why I'm coming so early?” I asked.

“She doesn't know yet.”

 “You're kidding. We'll have to give her some excuse when she finds out.”

“So we'll make something up. It doesn't have to be anything special. It doesn't even have to make sense. She's supposed to be suspicious, remember?” he reminded me, shifting to mirror my pose.

“I think we should have some sort of plan. She needs to be suspicious but it still has to be believable.” 

“Well, why not something work related? That's why we usually see each other. I promised not to take any dangerous jobs so close to the wedding day, so it would have to be yours this time.” 

“My executioner's license isn't valid there, and a zombie raising wouldn't keep me in the area for so long. Vampire politics always take forever, but that would mean meeting with Obsidian Butterfly.”

“You'd have to do that anyway, wouldn't you?” 

“Most likely.”

“Speaking of vampire crap, I have a question for you. The first time I came to visit you after we decided to do this, you said you would break the marks if you could. If someone found a way, would you really go through with it?”

“Hypothetically, yes. In reality, I can't give you an answer. It's not solely my decision, and it could be very dangerous for everyone involved. There are a lot of factors to consider,” I answered with a heavy sigh and rolled onto my back again to gaze at the clouds drifting lazily across the sky.

He watched me in silence for a few minutes, a calculating gleam in his eye.

“That wasn’t an idle question. Do you actually know something about this, Edward?”

“I think it might be possible.”

“You think it might be. That’s very reassuring. I’ll stand by my previous answer for now, thanks.”

“I’ve been looking into it since your last trip to Santa Fe.”

“What the hell are you talking about? What could possibly…” I stopped as his trail of thought suddenly made sense. Vampire crap in Santa Fe. There was only one vampire there, or anywhere that I knew of, with the kind of power needed to even have a chance at breaking the marks. “Obsidian Butterfly.”

“You said it yourself, her base of power is power itself. She can read it, but more importantly, she feeds off of it.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Edward. It’s just not possible.”

“Why, because Jean-Claude said so? He also said you couldn’t be marked by more than one vampire, but Alejandro proved him wrong on that one. If anyone can break the triumverate, it’s her. Why do you think she’s killed every Master Vampire and Human Servant that’s crossed her path since before either of us was born?”

“Because she’s batshit crazy?”

“Anita, be serious.”

“Because they were a threat to her, or her people, or her territory.”

“There’s more to it than that. She didn’t just kill most of them, or only the ones that blatantly challenged her, but all of them. We’ve gone up against vampires older than she is who weren’t nearly as strong as she is. Why?”

“I don’t know.” 

“You do. Think about it,” he insisted.

“It’s probably because she can gain power from feeding on power, maybe from life and death itself. When she killed them, she could’ve taken their power into her own. You think she learned how to feed from the bond between a Vampire and Human Servant?”

“It makes sense, doesn’t it? If she could feed from it, weaken it enough, maybe it could be broken without killing you afterward.” 

“That’s an awful of maybes.”

“I can only find out so much without raising suspicion. If you weren’t going to follow through, I didn’t see the point of drawing unwanted attention to myself.”

I closed my eyes, lost in thought for a few long minutes. I tried to imagine how my men might react to the idea. Damian and Nathaniel would probably be okay, if it wasn’t too dangerous, but I just couldn’t see Richard and Jean-Claude willingly giving up such a strong power base. Maybe they wouldn’t have to be willing for this to work, though. If that was the case, it seemed too good to be true. But wasn’t that last thought answer enough? I tilted my head just enough to look at him again before saying, “I want to know more.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

I didn’t ask Edward how he planned to learn more about breaking the marks. He probably wouldn’t tell me anyway, and I trusted him to not get himself into too much trouble for it. I was more concerned with how to bring up the topic with the other members of my triumvirates. As with most things in life, I decided a direct approach would be best. 

“I have a question for all of you, and I would like for you to really think about it before you answer. Be honest, and don’t worry about hurting anyone else’s feelings. Do the five of us really want to be bound together?” I asked when we were all sitting comfortably in my living room.

“ _Ma petite_ , we have discussed this. It is not possible to break the marks.”

“Hypothetically. If we could do it, without anyone dying or being seriously harmed, would you want to?”

No one said anything for a long time. Damian and Nathaniel exchanged a look, Richard scowled at the floor, and Jean-Claude studied my face intently.

“Not long ago, I would’ve done almost anything to break the marks. The therapy has helped, but if it were possible… I would want to at least consider it,” Richard answered.

“Damian and I would want you to be happy, but we enjoy being bound together. Could he bind me directly to himself afterwards, like how Jean-Claude could still bind you to him again after his marks had been overridden by Alejandro’s?” Nathaniel asked a few moments later. 

“I honestly don’t know. I think he probably could, but what if the answer is no?” 

“He could still be my _pomme de sang_ , if I could not have him as my animal to call. We are willing to break the marks if it is what you desire,” Damian said. 

I was a little surprised by their responses, but overall the conversation was going how I’d thought it would. The biggest problem would be Jean-Claude, of course. I turned to him, keeping a neutral look on my face.

“You know what I will say.”

“I don’t want any misunderstandings. Answer the question, please.” 

“I have not yet willingly given up, and I do not intend to start now. I will always fight to keep you, _ma petite_ , for as long as I am able.”

“Whether I want you to or not?” I asked, just to be absolutely certain we were all on the same page.

He hesitated for a moment. I could practically feel him trying to reach me through the marks, but I held my mental shields as tightly as possible. Finally, he nodded.

 


	22. Chapter 22

I didn’t see Jean-Claude again before I left for Santa Fe. Maybe it was childish of me to avoid him, but it was for the best. He would try to talk me out of going, try to convince me not to break the marks, and it would just piss me off even more. I talked to Nathaniel and Damian almost every other day, and met Richard once for lunch in the middle of the week, but refused to answer Jean-Claude’s summons or return his calls. 

I flew directly into Santa Fe this time and rented a car for the month so I wouldn’t be completely at Edward’s or Donna’s mercy for transportation. Edward had mailed a key earlier in the week, so I took that as an invitation to let myself in.

“Honey, I’m home!” I called out jokingly.

There were sounds coming from deeper in the house, so I headed towards them. The noises became voices as I walked closer, and soon I had entered the kitchen where Donna and Edward appeared to be arguing quietly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’ve talked about this already. It makes the most sense and you know it,” Edward said with Ted’s usual southern drawl. He glanced over her shoulder and caught my eye as he spoke.

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head, silently asking if I should sneak away again, but he beckoned me forward with an almost imperceptible lift of his chin. I plastered a smile on my face and made my footsteps a little louder than necessary as I moved closer.

Donna turned around slowly, struggling to keep her composure. From the look on her face, their argument had been about me.

“I hope I’m not interrupting. How have you been, Donna?” I asked.

“Fine. Busy as can be, with the wedding a few weeks away.”

“Barely a month left. It must be a very exciting time for you. Both of you.”

“Absolutely,” she agreed.

We stared at each other for a long moment. I saw the suspicion in her eyes, but kept a friendly smile on my face. Edward smirked slightly behind her back.

“Where are the kids? School should be out by this time of day,” I said as I glanced at my watch.

“Becca has ballet and Peter agreed to stay with her and do his homework.”

“It’s almost time for them to wrap up now, though. You wouldn’t want to be late picking them up, or Pete might not be so willing next time. I’ll walk out with you and help Anita unload her bags,” Edward offered. His tone and just enough of an edge to make it clear he thought the conversation was done.

Donna opened her mouth, probably to argue, but Edward led the way out to the garage before she could actually say anything. I followed quietly, waited for them to finish kissing goodbye, and waived as she drove away.

“Honey, I’m home?” Edward asked once she was out of sight, dropping the accent.

“How was I supposed to know she’d be parked in the garage? I’ve only ever seen her car in the driveway before.”

“You should have seen the look on her face. She was already asking why you were staying at my house instead of a motel.”

“I don’t remember her having a problem with it last time,” I said as we each grabbed a suitcase from the trunk of my rental car.

“Last time two other people were also staying here, and a murderous creature was on the loose. We needed the ability to mobilize quickly so we could get to the crime scenes while they were fresh. Plus she’d never met you before and had no reason to be jealous or overly suspicious.”

“But this time she does, because you’ve been dropping hints.”

“All the excitement of the wedding must be making me forgetful. Apparently there have been an unusual number of receipts from St. Louis lying around, even at times I hadn’t mentioned going anywhere near Missouri.”

“Receipts for things like the fancy new Japanese restaurant where two people obviously went to dinner in a romantic environment, and probably at least one or two of the expensive cars, as if you were trying to impress someone. You are a devious man, Edward.”

“You say that like it’s new information. How was your flight?” he asked, opening the door to one of the guest bedrooms.

“Long. I almost feel bad about how many times you’ve had to make the trip.”

“Almost?” 

“Better you than me,” I answered with a shrug.

Edward put the suitcase down at the foot of the bed, and I glanced around with a slight frown.

“This isn’t the one I stayed in before. Why the change?”

“Last time I put you next to Olaf so he would know I wasn’t concerned and be wary enough to keep his hands to himself. This time you’ll be staying across the hall from the master bedroom.”

“You don’t think that’s making it a bit too obvious?”

“People often don’t want to believe their significant other is actually cheating on them, no matter how jealous or suspicious they feel.”

“So now you and I are living in the same house, sleeping just across the hall from each other, pretending to have an affair obvious enough for her to really believe it, hoping she’ll call off the wedding that’s only a month away. Remind me why I agreed to this?” 

“Because you know it would hurt the kids more if I just abandoned them. Because you know this is the only way Donna will believe it and stay away from the danger that is our lives. Because you know I need you.”

“One of these days, I’m going to stop letting you talk me into this shit.” 

“But not today?” he asked with a wry grin.

“Not today,” I agreed.

 


	23. Chapter 23

Edward set up a meeting with Obsidian Butterfly for that night. She knew about the second triumvirate before I even had a chance to open my mouth and tell her about it, just like she’d known about the first. She offered an exchange of information: I would show her how the second triumvirate had been formed, and she would show me how the marks could be broken. Her hand reached for mine, but Edward pulled me away.

“Anita,” he said softly. His eyes held a warning of caution, as if to say _remember what happened last time_.

“If I still have questions afterwards, will you answer them?” I asked, turning to look at Obsidian Butterfly again.

“I will try,” she agreed.

I shared a look with Edward. I knew he didn’t like it, but this was the only way to get all the answers and know they were true. I gently shrugged off his hand, and then reached for hers.

Her power slammed into me, and images flashed through my mind. The night at Narcissus in Chains, when Jean-Claude and Richard and I married the marks. Accidentally raising Damian as a sort of vampire-zombie during the daytime. Rescuing Damian from the cross-bound coffin. Every confusing moment of forming the triumvirate with Damian and Nathaniel.

When she’d finally seen it all, her memories began playing in my head. Nearly a century ago, she’d first started to wonder if it was possible. I saw her toying with the idea, discussing it with Pinotl, finding those already within her territory who had human servants and testing the bonds. I remembered Jean-Claude saying that she had killed all who crossed her path for last fifty years, but now I saw the truth of it. She didn’t just kill them; she experimented on them, drained them, fed from them in every sense of the word. I saw the process evolve as she perfected it, learned how to break the marks without killing, then killed them anyway so they could not tell her secrets.

The connection broke, and Edward caught me before I collapsed.  He didn’t let go even after I’d regained my balance.

“Why would you show me, if you wished to keep it secret?” I asked, barely aware that I was speaking aloud.

“It is time for the vampire council to learn of my true power. They had not bothered me much in the past, but recently they have become a nuisance.” 

“You will keep us all alive as a warning?”

“Many would consider it a fate worse than death, to have such power taken from them. I see no reason why we could not both benefit from this.” 

“If someone is unwilling, they can still survive unharmed?”

“Your Master will be fine, Anita. Come back to me in one week’s time, when the beasts are at their strongest under the light of the full moon.”

“Is there anything I should do before then? To prepare?”

“Simply take care of yourself, eat your fill and sleep well. Tell your Master and Servants to have plenty of… nourishment ready, for all of their appetites.”

“I will. Thank you for your time,” I said with a polite nod. 

Obsidian Butterfly turned and left without another word. One of her werejaguars entered the room a heartbeat later to show us out, and still Edward’s grip on my elbow didn’t loosen until I was safely seated in his Hummer.

“This was your idea, Edward. Are you really so nervous about it?” I asked once we were back on the main road.

“You’re putting your life in the hands of a vampire who claims to be a goddess. Are you really so calm about it?” he challenged.

“She can do it. At least for now, she really intends to let us all live. Maybe she’ll change her mind by the end of the week, but I’m going to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.”

“The residual power seems to be fading a lot faster this time around,” he said after a few moments of silence. 

“Yeah, I noticed that too. I guess it’s because she isn’t trying to use me as bait or a weapon this time, and she isn’t really trying to show off either, so she didn’t try to make it stick. Maybe this is what’s normal after sharing memories like that.”

“I’m beginning to think there is no such thing as normal when you’re involved,” Edward muttered under his breath.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, but he kept his gaze firmly on the road ahead. I didn’t bother asking what he meant by it. He wouldn’t have told me, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your patience and encouragement. I know it's taking me forever to update, and I am so very sorry for the long wait between chapters. Hopefully the story will be worth it in the end, however long from now that may be!


	24. Chapter 24

The week passed quickly, with at least one surprise visit from Donna every day. When Edward heard her car in the driveway, he would stand just close enough to me to make her eyes narrow as he casually stepped a little further away once she entered the room. Sometimes he would try to make me blush or laugh right as the door opened, and sometimes he would take me out back to spar for a few minutes before he suspected she might come over. The positions she caught us in were innocent enough, but I could see her suspicion growing stronger. 

On the last morning before the full moon, he took me to the firing range. It was energy I probably shouldn’t be wasting, but it was also the most relaxed I’d felt in a very long time. Edward played the lecherous teacher and plastered himself to my back while he adjusted my stance and grip on the less familiar weapons. I grinned as I shifted against him and let myself forget the dangerous night ahead, enjoying the brief distraction. We went out to lunch, where he made sure I ate something packed with far more calories than I would normally like, and then went back to his house. He put on one of the newer James Bond movies and I sat on the couch laughing while he made popcorn and got us drinks.

“You don’t get enough of this with the way we live?” I teased, still giggling as the beginning credits started.

“What can I say? Work has been a little slow lately,” he smirked and draped an arm over the back of the couch. His fingers just barely brushed my shoulder, but that was the only point of contact.

I was so thoroughly distracted by the gentle circles he traced, gradually moving down to the bare skin of my upper arm as the movie played, that I completely lost track of the plot and eventually gave up trying to watch at all. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, letting myself enjoy the moment.

“You should call your boys and tell them to get ready,” Edward whispered in my ear when the movie ended.

I glanced at the clock, surprised to see just how late it was, and felt his lips graze my temple when I nodded. I pulled away, hoping my reluctance wasn’t as obvious as it felt as I went into my bedroom to get my phone.

Richard answered on the third ring, and I could hear a large group of people talking in the background before he silenced them.

“I’m going to see Obsidian Butterfly soon. I just wanted to make sure you’re prepared for tonight,” I explained.

“If what she said is true, everything should be fine. I’m well-fed and rested, with plenty of red meat waiting to be consumed and the strength of my pack around me.”

“You’re really okay with me doing this?” I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring blankly at the far wall.

“You know I never wanted to be bound to Jean-Claude. We’ve made our peace with each other, but if there’s a way to get out of it… Yeah, I’m really okay with that. Be careful tonight, Anita. I’ll call Jean-Claude for you.”

“Thanks. I’ll check in as soon as I can after it’s done.”

“Talk to you soon,” Richard said with a forced optimism.

I knew he was concerned, but appreciated the effort anyway. I called Nathaniel next, not at all surprised to hear that Damian was with him. Our conversation was very similar to the one I’d just had with Richard: they said they were already with the pard, assured me they had lots of food and willing blood donors standing by, then we wished each other good luck and said we’d talk after. I collapsed backwards onto the bed, taking a few deep breaths to settle my nerves.

“You okay?” Edward asked, leaning against the door frame with crossed arms and a neutral expression.

“Yeah, just a little worried about tonight.”

“Want me to kill her if things end badly?”

I laughed and covered my face with my hands for a second before I sat up to look at him properly and shook my head.

“I could probably do it, if I called in a few favors.”

“I know you could, Penguin.”

He chuckled, still seeming to be genuinely amused by the term of endearment, and then glanced at his watch as a silent reminder that we needed to leave.

I smiled in return and forced myself to get up off the bed. I stopped in front of him and met his steady gaze as I said, “Don’t pick a fight with her if you’re not completely sure you’ll win. I know this is risky, but I’m willing to do it anyway. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

“You know me better than that, Anita. I never start something I can’t finish. Come on,” he said and tilted his head toward the front door.

I nodded and gave him my phone, letting our fingers touch for a moment before I moved past him and lead the way down the hall. Obsidian Butterfly was waiting and, one way or another, I wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot tell you how much all of your wonderful comments have meant to me. You are the best, most supportive, and loving readers an author could hope for. Whether you've been reading this from the very beginning over on Pomme de Sang or just started reading it now, I love every single one of you. I am so sorry for the long wait. The end is nigh! Bear with me, and hopefully it will all be worthwhile. Also, most of the stories I’m working on now are in present tense and I know I slipped up a few times as I wrote this. I think I managed to catch them all, but my beta is swamped with work and I didn’t want to make you lovely people wait any longer, so please let me know if you spot any errors.


	25. Chapter 25

_Obsidian Butterfly_ was closed when we arrived. A werejaguar was standing just outside and opened the door when we came near. He lead us through the empty club, down a few short flights of stairs, and into a large room that I recognized from Itzpapalotl’s memories. There were chains hanging from one wall, herbs and gems stacked on shelves running the length of another, and a large flat stone serving as an altar in the center.

Edward raised an eyebrow at the chains, but then Pinotl entered the room and claimed our attention. 

“The goddess is coming. Have you prepared yourself?” he asked without bothering to acknowledge Edward.

“Yeah, we’re all set.”

“My mistress has shown you what is to be done,” he said as he motioned to the altar.

I nodded and forced myself to lie down on it, trying not to panic now that the ritual was actually about to take place. Itzpapalotl came in a few moments later and stood near my head, resting her hands on my shoulders while Pinotl gripped my ankles. I took a deep breath, looked up into her eyes, and dropped every shield I had. 

Itzpapalotl moved her hands to cradle my head, her palms against my cheeks and fingers on the back of my neck, and then I was lost in the fathomless depths of those black eyes. Her power rushed into me, wrapping around the magic that connected me to the others. She picked apart each individual link, like threads woven together into a tapestry, and then set to work unraveling them.

 

I resurfaced some time later. It must have been at least a few hours, but it felt like only seconds had passed. I expected there to be some lingering sense of power, or maybe some magical scar left on my mind, but there was nothing. I was completely myself, whole and alone.

“Anita?” Edward’s voice called to me, a gentle reminder that I wasn’t actually alone in the room.

I opened my eyes as I turned my attention outward. Itzpapalotl and Pinotl were still holding my head and feet, but Edward had abandoned his casual stance in the corner. He was now leaning over me, pinning both of my elbows to the hard stone of the altar. His impassive mask was firmly in place, only the tiniest flicker of emotion in his eyes.

I smiled when I saw the hint of concern, hoping to reassure him that I was okay, but suddenly every muscle in my body seemed to cramp and convulse at once. My skin turned to ice even as fire burned through my veins. I couldn’t hear my own screams past the static ringing in my ears, though I was vaguely aware of Edward yelling something and Itzpapalotl responding just before the blinding pain gave way to peaceful oblivion.

 

The next thing I knew was a bone-deep ache. I groaned as I struggled to open my eyes, surprised to see Edward’s bedroom when I finally managed to do it. Strong arms were wrapped around me and, even without the obvious hint from our location, I recognized their owner before he spoke.

“Relax. I’ve got you,” he whispered.

I turned my head slightly, trying to look over my shoulder, but quickly decided that moving was a terrible idea. I let my eyes fall shut with another broken moan. 

“There’s water on the bedside table, if you want it.”

I nodded carefully and felt him shift to reach the glass. Cold air penetrated the cocoon of blankets when he moved and I sucked in a sharp breath from the shock of goose-bumps erupting over my bare flesh. Only my bra and panties remained to preserve my modesty.

“They said human contact would help you stabilize, especially skin to skin,” Edward explained. He curled against my back again and pressed a straw to my lips as he continued. “The worst of it should be over now that you’ve woken up, so I can get us some clothes if you want, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before while tending to each other’s injuries and you’ll recover faster if we stay like this. Are you okay with that?”

I took a few cautious sips of water while he spoke, then used my tongue to push the straw away so I could nod my consent without accidentally stabbing the roof of my mouth.

“Everyone else is fine, but you had more bonds to break than any of them. It will take a day or two for your body to adjust. You should try to sleep for now.”

I nodded again, and he leaned away to put the glass of water on the bedside table before draping his arm over my waist. I hesitated for a moment, feeling awkward but not entirely uncomfortable with the situation, then laid my arm over his. He shifted closer to eliminate the last tiny bit of space between us and twined our fingers together as he settled in to rest with me. I let myself relax in his embrace and fell asleep with a smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it only took 2 months to finish this chapter! (lol "only") Thank you all for the encouragement. I thought about waiting so I could add more before posting because it feels so short, but then decided it really was the most natural point to break. Plus, now you get the update sooner. So it's a win/win, yes?


	26. Chapter 26

I woke up to find sunlight peeking through a gap in the curtains. Edward was still asleep, his steady breaths ruffling my hair, and I shifted just enough to comfortably look at him over my shoulder. The moment was so peaceful — so perfect, with the way the sun brought out the gold in his hair and his face looked so relaxed in sleep — that my heart squeezed painfully tight with the desire to wake up like this every morning.

Edward tensed slightly as he rejoined the waking world, blinked twice to clear his vision, and then one corner of his mouth twitched up into a tiny smile when he saw that I was awake.

The tranquility didn't last, though. Footsteps echoed from the hallway leading toward us, quick but quiet, and Edward had a pistol aimed at the door by the time it swung open.

“What is going on, Ted?” Donna asked furiously.

“Anita was part of a vampire ritual last night. I had to stay with her to make sure she was alright,” he answered without quite meeting her gaze, putting the weapon away instead.

“You expect me to believe that?”

“It's the truth,” I told her as I tried to subtly pull the blankets up a little higher.

“I'm not an idiot. I know what's really happening. I didn't want to believe it, but then I got this in the mail...” she trailed off, staring at the manila envelope in her hands.

I glanced back at Edward when she opened it and pulled out a stack of photos. I would've thought he looked just as confused as I felt, if it weren't for the knowing glint in his eyes. I remembered the night we went dancing at the club, when I caught Edward staring out the window as if he was looking for something — or someone — and suddenly it made sense.

Edward hired someone to take pictures of us and then had them sent to Donna.

“You know Anita and I help each other on dangerous jobs, and that some of those jobs require us going undercover.”

“Oh, is that all this is?” she asked, voice turning nasty with her anger.

She dropped some photos on the bed that were taken the night Edward took me to the Japanese restaurant back when this all started. The first picture showed Edward standing at my front door, a large bouquet of exotic flowers in one hand and the other reaching out to ring the doorbell. The second was of me with my nose buried in the flowers, smiling softly while Edward watched. There was one picture of us smirking at each other as we walked toward the sleek red Lamborghini he'd rented, and another of us walking into the restaurant. The next showed us at our table, me making a ridiculous face while Edward rolled his eyes, both of us smiling just enough for it to be noticeable in the dim lighting. The last picture was of Edward laughing while I blushed, but I was still watching him and obviously happy despite whatever discomfort caused the pinkness on my cheeks — the moment I'd first called him Penguin.

“I suppose these are from some undercover job as well,” she said as she tossed another set of photos at us.

The first of these showed me staring at Edward with wide eyes as he showed off the outfit he'd worn to the dance club, and the second was him gazing out of the window with a suspicious frown. The next one was of us holding hands as we entered the club, followed by a few that were almost too dark and blurry to see anything clearly. I knew they showed us dancing together, Edward holding me so close and kissing me for the first time. The last one was of Edward leaning over to kiss my cheek just before I stepped out of the gorgeous blue Ferrari when he took me home.

“I'm sure going to the opening of an art gala was all part of a job, right? And of course a picnic, where there's no one but the two of you, is very important undercover work,” she practically snarled as she threw the rest of the pictures at us.

“Honeypot—”

“No! You don't get to call me that right now.”

“Donna—” Edward tried again, but she obviously didn't want to hear any explanation he might try to give.

“How could you? I don't just mean me. How could you do this to Peter and Becca? They adore you,” Donna said. Her anger seemed to leave her all at once and she looked alarmingly close to tears.

“You know I adore them too,” Edward responded quietly. He sounded genuinely remorseful for hurting the kids, but then he seemed to catch himself and cleared his throat before speaking again. “Look, just give me a minute to get dressed and we can talk about this.”

“There's nothing to talk about, Ted. I knew there was something wrong the first time she came, but you promised me there was nothing between the two of you. I can't trust you anymore, Ted. I can't—” Donna’s voice broke and she choked back a sob as she turned and all but ran from the room.

The front door slammed shut and then a car peeled out of the driveway. I didn't move for a long moment, too shocked to do more than stare after her, then sat up and began slowly collecting the pictures she'd left behind.

“That should be the end of it. Want some breakfast?” Edward asked.

“Yeah,” I agreed distractedly.

The bed shifted as he slipped out from under the covers and into a pair of jeans. A moment later, my black robe was draped over my shoulders as he walked by to leave the room. Sounds of cooking came from the kitchen, along with an enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee, but I hardly registered it.

“The end,” I muttered to myself. The words left me feeling hollow.

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently replaced my old computer, but I didn't want to pay the $140 for getting Word on my new one. I've been trying out all these different applications to try to find one that works with the format all my files were already saved in (.docx) and I finally found one that seems to work! For those of you wondering, it's Libre Office and it's completely free. I'm still just trying it out, but I managed to get this chapter typed up and edited and hopefully there won't be any format issues now but if it looks weird in any way please let me know. *crosses fingers*

I flipped through the pictures in my hands, stared down at Edward and myself smiling at each other, and couldn't help wondering just how much of it had been fake or if any of it had been real at all. It certainly felt real, but that was Edward's specialty, wasn't it? I dropped the photos onto the empty side of the bed and buried my face in my hands with a quiet groan of frustration, then threw back the covers and climbed out of bed.

Edward was sitting at the kitchen table when I entered the room, an omelette in front of him and coffee in hand. A similar meal was set in front of my usual seat, but with an additional glass full of orange juice.

"So, what now?" I asked as I sat down to eat.

"I'll talk to Donna later, then it's just a matter of tying up all the loose ends like telling the guests and canceling the venue reservation. After that's done, it's probably time for Ted to move out of Santa Fe."

"Really?"

"It's for the best. I've been here too long already."

"Where will you go?"

"I haven't decided yet. How do you feel?"

"Better. It's a little strange, not feeling an echo of them in the background."

"Feeling lonely in your own head?" he teased.

"A little," I laughed with him. "It's good, though."

The silence that settled over us as we ate should have been easy, but my thoughts kept circling back to what would happen now that there was no need for our fake relationship. How many months would pass before I saw him again? Would I really be able to work with him like I used to? Before I knew what it felt like to be held by him? To be kissed by him? To wake up in his arms?

"You'll be okay on your own while I go to Donna's?" Edward asked as we finished eating.

"Yeah. I'll probably go back to sleep for a while, actually. I'm still pretty exhausted. Obsidian Butterfly is sure everything will be fine now?"

"She seemed to be," he shrugged and took our empty dishes to the sink.

"Alright. I should probably call home and see how the others are doing before I fall asleep again."

"I left your phone on my bedside table."

"Thanks," I yawned as I walked back into his bedroom.

I called Nathaniel and was happy to hear that he and Damian were both feeling as good as new. They were a little weaker, less powerful than when they were bound to me, but still stronger than they'd ever been before the marks. I knew Richard would be headed to work so I didn't try to call him directly, but decided Jason was a good person to ask for a more recent status report on Richard and Jean-Claude.

"Anita?" he answered the phone tiredly.

"Yeah, it's me. I wanted to hear for myself that everyone is doing alright."

"Just peachy. The vamps are already down for the day. It happened earlier than usual, but I guess that shouldn't be a surprise."

"Probably not," I agreed as I let myself relax and fell back onto the bed.

"What about you? Are you really okay?"

"I've been better, but I'll survive. It seems to have hit me a lot harder than anyone else."

"That makes sense, though. I mean, you had to cut ties with four people instead of just one or two like everyone else. Plus you're back to healing at a normal human pace. You'd be at a disadvantage even without the extra marks."

"Sucks for me."

"Yeah, it does. No offense," he chuckled lightly.

"Well, you sound almost as wiped as I feel. Did you just wake up or were you about to fall asleep?"

"Sleep. It's been a long night, even for those of us not directly involved in a wacky vampire wanna-be-goddess ritual."

"Let me know when everyone wakes up?"

"Will do. Take care of yourself, Anita. Maybe stay away from home for a while, take a little vacation until things settle here."

"Is Jean-Claude planning something?" I asked warily, suddenly feeling far more alert.

"Not that I know of, but I'd be surprised if he wasn't. You know how he is."

"Unfortunately."

"I'll let you know if I hear anything, okay?"

"Thanks, Jason."

"No problem. I'll call you tonight," he promised before hanging up.

I muttered angrily to myself as I rolled out of bed long enough to hang up my robe and change into the loose shirt and shorts that served as my pajamas. I briefly debated whether I should move to the guest bedroom or stay in Edward's, then decided I could always play it off as wanting to keep the charade going until things were definitely settled with Donna and curled up in his bed. I expected it to be difficult to fall asleep after Jason’s vague warning, but my body was still healing and demanded rest whether my mind was ready for it or not.

 

 


End file.
